Jealousy.

Have you ever felt like someone has something that they totally don't deserve and you do! This probably sounds soo bad but seriously. There's just so many people out there that have all this stuff and i think to myself, do they really deserve to have that? I hate having feelings for someone who is just over the top love bipolar. Maybe this summer i can get away from you! I'll eventually find someone who I'm just mad for :o) Talking to you once just, doesn't cut it for me. Sometimes i feel like i just don't measure up to a lot of people. I often find me trying to change myself to fit everyone Else's standards. I'm completely done with that! It just doesn't make sense for me to be liked for something I'm not. I show my true self all the time! If people have a problem with that, well then keep it to yourself. Honestly i love blogging. I feel its the only way to express myself. I don't care if a million people read this, or if no one reads it. It just makes me feel good to get it out! So this summer i really feel like a bum! I really want to get out there and find some kind of hobby to occupy my time, because sitting around all day in my pajamas just Inst cutting it for me. I want to go running. I just need to find someone to run with me! I've realized that I'm realllllllly undependent. I always need someone to come do things with me and ill never do anything alone. i wonder if other people are like that? I got to thinking the other day and i thought if im so depenedent on others how on earth am i going to move out and go to college all on my own? I need to start being more independent! Also i really wish i could find a job, but i cant because one the economy is horrible and all the teen jobs are taken up by desperate parents and elders who just need somewhere to work so they can pay bills, and I'm not old enough and if there's a lack of jobs there's no way they would hire someone underage. Boy oh boy! Man i realize that i reallllllly love cats! They are seriously the cutest animals! :) I'm actually getting a kitten next week a think! I am just so excited! I think I'm going to take up extreme scootering! I mean, what gets more extreme then that?